Crapshoot: Jack Sparrow with an incredibly bad PC port

From 2010 to 2014 Richard Cobbett Crapshoot, wrote a column about rolling the dice to bring random, mysterious games back to light. This week, you might think any port is in a storm, but there’s only one port to choose from – a rotten, maggot-infested port that’s finding whole new dimensions to suck.

Forget the Dark Souls port for PC. Darksiders 2 Missing some options? BVFT. Sure, at first glance, this kind of thing might score high on the OL betrayal chart, but for me? No, because I played The Legend of Jack Sparrow, one of the most half-conceited ports in the history of mainstream franchises.

Yes, it really is that bad. Sit back and let’s see how an extraordinary concept adventure that really put “Yaaarh!” To “Yaaarh, I just stabbed balls with a fork!”

Now, I loved the original Pirates of the Caribbean, and while sequels fell and caught the ball more often than the rookie juggler, even their worst moments weren’t enough to dampen the original greatness. Little action on the high seas. Adventure. Funny dialogue. Fantasy adventures. The genius coup of the concept – a pirate ship trying return stolen treasure And of course, Jack Sparrow, who admitted it was a complete cartoon after many sequels, parodies, spin-offs and this God awful Fourth movie. When he debuted, he was a breath of fresh air, a rogue guide who stole the show from its first scene to the moment it cruised to the credits at the end.

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